I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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