in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
