And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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