this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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