I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
