He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
