so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
