Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
