What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
