Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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