So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
