He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
