i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
