I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
