You made me cry and you don't even care
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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