WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
