I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
