I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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