Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
