This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
