seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
