Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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