It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
