My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You pole danced in your parka.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
