Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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