What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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