I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
