dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
