So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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