our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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