PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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