what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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