dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
