wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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