your parents love me but you hate me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
