Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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