Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
well you can't waste a boner
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
