Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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