Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
