you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
