if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
