too bad you live with your parents still
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
