I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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