you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
