I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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