You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He better not be in your backpack
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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