"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
