CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
