I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
