which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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