Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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