She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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