Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have aggressive nipples.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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